Pool's Closed

**ultrapostman** · Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 9:45 pm AIDS subject: Chased by a psycho cumdumpster

I was chased by a psycho cumdumpster today. Surpisingly, it wasn't as scary as it sounds; it was actually kinda lulzy.

I was driving home from cross-country practice at 10am, and I pulled up behind several cars at a stop light. The car in front of me (psycho cumdumpster) had stopped short of the next car, presumably to let someone out of the jughandle (not from Jersey? see http://my.hsonline.net/~rrosetta/entmoot/jughandle.gif). However, the first car at the jughandle was just sitting there, not moving. I saw a golden opportunity, so I swerved around psycho cumdumpster and took the empty spot. She blared her horn like I had just made a pass at her prepubescent daughter, but I was already congratulating myself on being an asshole. Light turns green, we all take off, and I make the first right turn onto my street.

Now, this is a small side street that doesn't get a lot of traffic, so when I saw psycho cumdumpster turning behind me, I was mildly suspicious. Just enough that I didn't stop at my house; I kept driving and made a left. She followed. I still wasn't sure that she was following me, so I made another left, heading right back to the road I originally turned off of. She followed, and now I was convinced.

I thought quickly; obviously I couldn't go home, but neither could I lose her in these back roads. Thinking quickly, I pulled out a S.O.D CD, turned the volume all the way up and popped it in, but I didn't hit play. I pulled over to the side of the road, and, as I hoped, she pulled over behind me. She stormed over looking like I had just publicly urinated on her prepubescent daughter, my hand strayed idly to the CD player. She demanded an explanation, I hit play. She recoiled at first, but soon RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGED like I had just raped her prepubescent daughter. I just sat there with a dumb smile on my face, mouthing 'What? I can't hear you'. The first song (March of the S.O.D) was winding down, so I turned it off and started rolling the window down, as if I was finally going to be serious. Then I floored the gas and left her standing there screaming at me. Just to be on the safe side, I parked my car in front of someone else's house and snuck over to mine (she was pissed off, but being a woman I didn't think she'd actually do anything to my car. And if she did, I had gotten her plate number anyway.)

tl;dr I trolled a typical soccer mom.
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**PraiseKEK** · Posted: Thu Aug 28, 2008 9:51 pm AIDS subject:

I now accept this newfag.
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itt i whore out my profile

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**Joey Bishop** · Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 12:04 am AIDS subject:

**OBEY! Jesus** · Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 1:22 am AIDS subject:

**White Ranger** · Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 6:52 am AIDS subject:

**Joran van der Sloot** · Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 10:16 am AIDS subject:

**MC Scrotal Tuck** · Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 3:00 pm AIDS subject:

**NotCaptainCarnival** · Posted: Fri Aug 29, 2008 5:15 pm AIDS subject:

**ultrapostman** · Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 2:18 am AIDS subject:

Aww shucks. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time. Besides, I could have done much better; looking back, she was so worked up that I could have really torn her apart if I had actually talked to her.
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**Joey Bishop** · Posted: Sat Aug 30, 2008 2:55 am AIDS subject:

**ReiClone88** · Posted: Fri Sep 05, 2008 2:35 pm AIDS subject:

That was awesome.
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**red shoe paul** · Posted: Sun Sep 07, 2008 10:54 pm AIDS subject:

Damn, I think this kid is a first in the art of being welcomed so early..
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**Pink Ranger** · Posted: Wed Sep 10, 2008 7:32 am AIDS subject:

cool story bro
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